Woke up this morning still feeling depressed and to my surprise , Grandma invited me to join her on a trip to a picnic that was honoring her professor's retirement and a reunion of the multimedia graduates up to present. I felt thrilled and my mood lifted like a weight off my shoulders! I ran into so many kind people and they each had such a positive glow. The weather was so bright out, it was really hot in my area but the sun rays made me feel so warm inside and the motivational speech Grandma gave me today along with it , just gave me the boost I needed again. I feel like my mind is clear and I am ready to tackle my goals and start my move forward to what I want in life. I came up with my list of ideas on sticky notes, tomorrow will be the first day I start my plan to complete each idea. I think today is really going to change the style of my work and that excites me.

I have been daydreaming about doing some random 3d pieces, maybe landscape to start out with more of a fantasy look. I am also thinking of faeries and mythological creatures as well. I just don't know where I will get the materials from at the moment. I also think about making backgrounds like in photography and taking pictures behind them sparkling fabrics and glitter, crystal and orbs.

Baby is kicking up a storm as always, and I can't sleep. Part of me doesn't really want to sleep anyway .I have been on youtube making slideshows and that has allowed me to keep up with some of my creativity and people have been slowly responding to my youtube channel, Its mostly informational and I will start working on some instructional videos as well. This week is a new moon and that is always a wonderful start for brainstorming and rethinking plans in a new light and do things differently, . So maybe i'll make myself a list of things to make new pieces out of and place sticky notes all over my wall . Maybe this time I will actually get these pictures out of my head and onto the canvas. yeah , that sounds like an idea, i'll just take down the stickies one day at a time and see what I get , but first I need to upload all the pieces I did toward the end of my last semester. I still have plenty of images that are trapped inside of my sketchbooks

My aunt recently came to me with an idea she had for a small family business. She wants to start her own clothing line and is getting into the process of making shirts of all sorts of fabric and cuts with designs and bible verses on them. At first I wasn't really interested but it is something for me to do and get my mind off of my current job search attempts . So venting in a healthy way! Yay for me. I do see this as a challenge though, she wants me to come up with "sophisticated, elegant feminine designs" that incorporate quotes of scripture, so now I get to figure out how I am going to design these shirts. I don't work with text! LOL, so its new and makes me use my brain just a tad bit more LOL

With baby on the way I have been at the mercy of my fiance's relatives till we are able to get onto our own two feet. Its been tough , the job market hasn't been kind to us and school for now seems to be on the back burner . I am trying to stay hopeful though . It really gets hard, even now I am trying to fight back the tears and have faith that the gods won't leave me to rot. I do believe this is an important lesson in many areas of my life right now and my fiance and I need to suck it up. Amazingly, I have had support from my fellow brothers and sisters in the craft . Its helped me not feel so alone in all of what has been happening. The first thing you notice about getting pregnant in college is that your friends no longer have the desire to hang out with you , your phone calls and emails are not returned and they are all around busy . Understandable , guess im not used to the change this phase of life is bringing me yet. Laugh. As I said before , the enchanted ones in my life have kept me going and really make me feel like im not forgotten and people do know im still kicking::.